In Philip Roth’s Pulitzer Prize-winning 1998 novel _American Pastoral_, his protagonist, a Jew named Seymour Levov who goes by the nickname “the Swede,” sees his life turned upside down when his daughter turns terrorist and blows up a post office. … Read More
The Fall To the first girl I ever kissed, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have, but the rum and Coke tasted so good on your tongue. I’m sorry, too, that my hands were not soft against your skinny calves, crossed at … Read More
Since the turn of the twentieth century, admission into America’s most elite colleges has always been a straightforward matter of selling out. The days when pure wit garnered fresh high school graduates passage into the academic aristocracy have faded like … Read More
Last year, the unlikely phrase “Hegel’s Bagels” appeared in this newspaper on two separate (although not unrelated) occasions: first, in the cover illustration; and second, as the title of an article. The article reported that the Princeton German Department had … Read More
In the last 30 days, the town of Princeton has searched for “robot unicorn attack” on average (that is as percentage of total traffic) 25 times as much as Seattle, 30 times as much as Boston and Los Angeles, and … Read More
“This snowfall is my final fantasy. Once America the woman was coming on my dick, her flag pin a pinhole to a world without strife. But then—” he sneezes. “Let me begin again. Terrorism. The weeping willow lowers her hair … Read More
This past summer, before even stepping foot on Nassau Street, saying bye to my parents, or buying my twin extra-long dorm sheets at Bed Bath and Beyond, I got my first peek into to college life. This peek was through … Read More
As you might have guessed, the _Nassau Weekly_ is full of a bunch of super-nerds who are really into books and junk. To give you an indication of how into books they are, consider this: Every week, they have their … Read More
Big Star are sacred to me – a summer devotional, everything that John Cusack and Emilio Estevez could never be for me, a holy confessor and mentor. I would be surprised if that other late auteur of American adolescence, John … Read More
Rumor has it that at the Nass, there is a gap in the otherwise omniscient knowledge of the staff, and that that gap is called “sports.” Not so, ladies and gentlemen. Let me tell you a thing or two about … Read More