1. Non-females
  2. Columns in the Daily Princetonian
  3. Rows in the Daily Princetonian
  4. Nepotism
  5. The Harvest Moon
  6. Philosophy bros
  7. Boob sweat
  8. Crying and listening to “Fast Car”
  9. Banana jelly beans
  10. Blisters in the sun
  11. Big Sean-anigans
  12. Vigilante justice on the free-food listerv
  13. Lack of vigilante justice in precept
  14. Pollen hybridized with chlorine gas
  15. Clogs
  16. How many pages does it need to be?
  17. wow
  18. Vague outrage
  19. Radiators making cat noises in the night
  20. Urban Congo
  21. Describing shit as “urban”
  22. Urban Outfitters drop crotch pants
  23. “The city“
  24. “I just need a moment”
  25. LinkedIn
  26. “Alternative” career fairs featuring Princo
  27. Hot takes
  28. Cold hummus
  29. Unfermented beverages
  30. Computer-written poetry
  31. Cleanses
  32. Percocet
  33. Ben affleck’s shaft
  34. All of it
  35. Vocal fry’s hostile NPR takeover
  36. Your short story about a disillusioned college student struggling to write a short story
  37. Weak chins
  38. Not being carried everywhere like a goddamn baby
  39. Languages other than French being spoken in the bedroom
  40. Anything but stony silence in the bedroom
  41. Nationalism
  42. The certainty of death
  43. Unintelligent dance music
  44. Mass incarceration
  45. Police brutality
  46. Anyone, at any point, being made to feel unsafe at Princeton
  47. Unbridled ecstasy
  48. Thinkpieces on drones
  49. Thinkpieces on millennials
  50. Thinkpieces on thinkpieces
  51. Feigned indignation
  52. Your tangled web of lies
  53. No strings attached cocaine
  54. Living far away from trees
  55. Intelligent dance music
  56. “Socially liberal, fiscally conservative”
  57. Sleeping in the Nass office
  58. Shtupping in the Nass office
  59. Kleenex with Vicks
  60. Push pins
  61. Living far away from a loved dog
  62. The English Canon
  63. The cannon of Cannon
  64. The camel of Cannon
  65. Limp puns
  66. Asymptotes
  67. Boys who don’t leave in the morning
  68. People describing prose as “Hemingway-esque”
  69. Noncommittal subtweets
  70. Bold
  71. Dog psychologists
  72. No comment
  73. People who comment, ‘This!!’
  74. Canada Goose
  75. Teardrops on guitars
  76. Unsolicited guitar playing at social gatherings
  77. Recommended readings
  78. Memes that aren’t dank
  79. Tweets that aren’t fire
  80. A future where I don’t have a job
  81. A future that doesn’t include the dismantling of systemic inequality
  82. Late meal water bottles
  83. Big Sean
  84. Little Christopher
  85. Medium Kenny
  86. Skinny Claire
  87. Swollen Jesse
  88. Pint-Sized Larry
  89. Antisocial justice
  90. Residual high school ambition
  91. Adults wearing overalls
  92. Undergraduate e-mail signatures
  93. Guys in infinity scarves
  94. Women not shaking hands with other women
  95. Pining
  96. Grinding
  97. Pegging
  98. The Whore of Babylon who sitteth upon the great waters
  99. The girl’s-hand-on-guy’s-chest couple photo pose.
  100. The girl’s-hand-on-guy’s-knee couple photo pose.

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