The McKinsey Scale
May 05, 2017

This Week's Verbatim

Overheard in Terrace:
Sophomore guy: No, no, I’m not steampunk, I’m just bouncing off of steampunk.
Overheard at Bank Street:
Cap dude: Yeah, two people in my fraternity have lost their fingers.
Overheard in Georgetown:
Young woman: What’re you gonna get at AllSaints?
Young man: A blowjob.
Overheard in Pyne:
Ivy senior sadboi, at 1 a.m. after Sunday Funday: That’s how I feel about sadness—I’m really addicted to it but I don’t like it.
Overheard at a wedding:
Twenty-something female: And I’m like, I do not need to see your cervix. We’re not that close.
Overheard in Wilf:
Nass EIC: This hummus is godly.
Observant Jew: The Nass is not the Messiah.
Overheard on party bus:
Low-key humanitarian, high-key drunk: I went on one of those community service trips to Jamaica in college, but out driver hit a house, so we ended up rebuilding that one instead.
Overheard in an elevator:
Drunk girl in sequins: Only cool people allowed. Only people who like Lean Cuisine.
Overheard in Club Monaco:
Sophomore Theta with a fiber stomachache: I just love legumes, but I literally couldn’t even go to Olives anymore if I stopped eating them. I only eat legumes there.
Overheard in Rocky:
Large bearded man: You can’t be nervous in this world with an 18-inch cock.
Overheard in Butler:
Sophomore progressive: No one at Princeton is a Marxist.
Sophomore progressive 2: What about [redacted]? He suffers so much.
Overheard on Ivy patio:
Senior boy, on recent alum: Her entire life is a meta-commentary on the ills of humanity.
Overheard in CWR201:
Edmund White, on teaching at Brown: I mean, well... most of the students were Euro trash.
Overheard in Ivy:
Sophomore Pi Phi: What does WASP stand for? White, average-sized person?
Overheard in Patton:
Former Nass EIC: Journalism is imploding.
Overheard in Frist:
Sophomore Pi Phi: I only have one Google alert, and it’s for Mindy Kaling.
Overheard at the Woody Woo fountain:
Tall man: I guess cold brew is too much for me.
Overheard outside Frist:
Orange Key guide: Princeton Preview is a great chance to sleep with a student.