The Literary Issue

December 14, 2006

31 Stories in 30 Words or Less

30 Words: The grasshopper sat serenely. Its multifaceted eyes, though expressionless, were wise. The wind blew gently, and did not move the furrowed dirt. In the flicker of an instant, it hopped. 29 Words: “We are the faithful,” he said, … Read More

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Again My Hyperactive Intelligence

I’ve been here for forty days. Each day is the same, by which I mean they are all different. The walls of my room are supposed to be beige, but they’re not. They’re grey. I tried to draw the solar … Read More

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Lines Removed From a Eulogy

And what’s more there’d be too much to tell, with his folded-up face and our proximity, the fact that we’d lived so close to each other growing up, that in high school we’d mostly talk to the same girls and … Read More

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The Anniversary

We need a number to plot our love, to propose a first THC, whiskey fake lust romp as love or it would be to us, also, the night a boy walked through a glass door like magic, with sound. When … Read More

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Smoke that Thunders

A hump of grass bulges into the spray of Victoria Falls is one of the world’s seven Wonders are easier to count than to Think of the woman on the bulge Gardens usually accept water like hands into a Hand … Read More

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Bush

In His bone-white palace, abuzz all night, Sits George Bush, hedged in by Left and Right. And He thinks of freedom, justice and His Ranch. His dreams, now becoming overwhelming, Send Him down to a secret cubicle delving. A single … Read More

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Belh m’es quan vey camjar lo senhoratge

I am happy when lordships change again, when the old let their homes go to the young― men can leave behind so many children one must earn a name that may be sung; then I am happy, the world now … Read More

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Allegory

A beautiful woman of equestrian breadth, Lets the ends of her hair dandle in her wine, And the talons of love and the poisons of nightclubs, Give her marble skin lifelessness and gloss, And she teases Death and ridicules Debauchery, … Read More

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Sunken Town

The blaze that engulfed my hometown began before I was born. It began with the first dry leaf from the first almond tree they planted on the side of the town hall road. My mom planted it as a child, around carnival time, the year when her dad the Mayor decided that the town would grow.

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Shadow-boxers

Here’s how I saw De Quincey High then: stained bathroom walls; pregnant girls; boys with knives and guns and bandanas; teachers with fear so engrained that it folded into their faces in wrinkles; a gym that could have been a prison; a cafeteria that was one; cheap lipstick and cheaper condoms; a dirt track; fences.

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ADEQUITE by LINDSEY MORGAN LOHAN

He Died and I CRIED – no I swear that I did Many tears down my face like a litle tiny kid Warm and Wet they were like a facial from Wilmer And I wished Robert was there so he’d … Read More

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The Adventuring

The dragon now is yawning With the sun’s new dawning And greedily is fawning O’er the gold of fallen fighters of yore. Meanwhile D & D dice are rolling To represent fearsome fighting While from a cloud with silver lining … Read More

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Four Shiny Haikus, like Four Shiny Small Roses

My friend got a job Hey, it’s fine, I got head from your sister I deserve an A But I won’t do you. You are a Guest Lecturer Listen, babe, I swear She looked like you except for The wandering … Read More

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From Peggy, With Love

Just when I thought the next show to open at an American museum could only be a survey of Tommy Hilfiger’s toenail clippers, this happens. Lucio Fontana has come back to Manhattan.

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Sheng Sheng Man

That night I’d gotten immensely drunk. I stumbled to the hole of a convenience store behind the kabob stand and, under the baleful eyes of a young woman who sat with her son in her lap on a plastic stool, … Read More

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Verbatim

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Overheard in Cafe Viv

Beefy frat guy: Man, you pissing yourself in that chair and that guy in your lap puking, that was the highlight of my day.

Overheard in Frist

Girl 1: I don’t think he would be a good father.
Girl 2: Nor would he be a good husband. And when you wanted to have babies and you couldn’t conceive because he had done so many drugs in his youth and his sperm count was so low, I think it would put a real strain on the relationship.

Overheard at Nass strategy meeting

EIC: But that’s the real trouble with doing a fecal-gram indoors.

Overheard in Lockhart

Girl 1: The “Pursuit of Happyness” would probably make me feel happy but only after it had made me sad for a long time. But then at the end I’d feel happy
Girl 2: You mean after he becomes an i-banker?

Overheard in PSY 207:

Professor Litchman: I am a giant vagina!

Overheard somewhere in South Carolina

Deposed EIC: Here’s an example of how worthless the boy scouts are not only does my brother actually have a cow badge (literally, a badge you get for learning about cows) but I just challenged him to a cow trivia contest, and it was a tie.