Skullduggery

April 18, 2014

Verbatim

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Overheard in Frist

Soph 1: Was Coachella fun?
Soph 2, after long pause: I cried the entire flight back.
Soph 1: Are you going to go back?
Soph 2: I’m def going back next year...and the year after that...I think I’m just going to go until I have a baby.

Overheard on iMessage

Ivy senior: my medieval teacher sprained her back picking up one of her dachshunds so class is only for an hour!

Overheard in front of Alexander Hall

Girl in a fedora, to friends: I could almost be drunk right now. [sees passer-by looking at her] But I’m not. I’m drunk off of sunshine and beauty.

Overheard in Frist

PFA member: Easter is Sunday Funday and 4/20 day. It’s pretty bad.
PFA member 2: Pick your poison...or your salvation.

Overheard outside Wu

Bro: What’s a girl professor, a professorette?

Overheard by Studio 34

Guy 1: You’ll have to introduce her.
Guy 2: Yeah. Introduce her to my prostate, if you know what I mean.

Overheard in a Nass meeting

British frosh: My parents didn’t have music at their wedding so no one would dance.

Overheard during the BAC show

AEPi junior: I’ve never tried to twerk before, but I think I’d be really good at it. Like, you know, one of those things you know you’d be a natural at.

Overheard in the Tory

Madman: While Obama advocates sexual perversion with the same international obsession of a communist revolutionary, Putin defends traditional ethics and religion.

Overheard on Twitter

Future private equity analyst: I think you can quantify how good a baby is.

Overheard in Frist

Girl, to boy: Please don’t end this relationship over a fedora.

Overheard in Christian Ethics

Shere Khan male, staring pensively at iTunes playlist entitled “Emo mix,” typing into search bar: “gym class heroes”
Same Shere Khan male, seconds later, typing into search bar: “dashboard confessional lyrics”

Overheard at Preview

Terrace sophomore: What department are you thinking of majoring in?
Prefrosh from Hell: Econ at first, but it looks like you can go to Wall Street from here with any major, so now I’m not sure.

Overheard in Terrace

Gay senior, to male in St. Christopher’s School shirt: Is that an all-boys school?
Male: Yeah.
Gay senior: Ugh, I would have loved it there. I would have been so deep in dick