Mourning Wood

February 14, 2016

Cost-Benefit Analysis, 2013

I am to have this gold when you die. To buy ink for poems crumpled on the carpet purchased with your cancer. You’ll make nothing as a writer. But my materials are cheap. Each verse I write about you merely … Read More

by on

On Object and Actor

Questioning a binary understanding of women as either object or actor, Her portrays women as both.

by on

He Liked to Think He Was an Island

He often liked to think that he was an island, oceans away from the troglodytes of the continent…

by on

Partial Recall

What I’ve realized is that I shouldn’t get complacent – the best years of my life won’t necessarily come to me; I have to pursue them.

by on

Manuscription

I worry I will run out of words to explain you to myself but you teach me in the night, across my back you trace forgotten alphabets.

by on

Choices in the Cupboard of Our Past

“The study of the Islamic world is no longer an exoticism and it is no longer a luxury.”

by on

Bone Tomahawk

In a filmmaking era when movies are increasingly designed, focus-tested, and audience-approved to please, “Bone Tomahawk” is strangely refreshing for refusing us our simple pleasures.

by on

More Than Vanity

Again and again, I told myself I wasn’t ashamed of my condition…. Yet alone, waiting for a McCosh nurse to take my weight, I couldn’t help but feel embarrassed by what the eating disorder had made of me.

by on

Trumpist for a Day

Going deep undercover into the terrified and terrifying world of Trump supporters and elderly grandparents.

by on

Don’t Let Your Friends Use Your iPhone

Even if their battery runs out and they really really need to check Snapchat.

by on

The Greatest Debate

Two art history majors argue the most crucial issue of our time: Which Princeton plastic water bottle is better?

by , on

Verbatim

More →

Overheard on the T

Harvard Hipster: “Stairs are so condescending. It’s like.. you’re just an organized hill”

Overheard on Campus

Neuroscience major, on behavioral psychology: I’m definitely going to do that thing where you tell your kids you don’t love them.

Overheard on Facebook Message

Aspiring highschool journalist to Nass Freshman: Are you a paid writer for the Nassau Weekly?

Overheard in Massachusetts suburb

Oberlin sophomore: I just heard “gender pronouns” so I had to join the conversation.

Overheard in Ted Cruz’s thesis

Presidential Candidate: “this awakening protector of rights, which the Court is transforming into a power for itself, can remind us — from the dead — that men are not angels, but men — seeking power over the heavens…and below.”

Overheard at a Nass meeting

Junior boy: That was debunked on Yik Yak.

Overheard outside Pyne

Dangerously high frosh, contemplatively: Infinite Joint

Overheard at physics problem session

Disgruntled sophomore: “Leadership qualities” don’t exist. They were invented to keep Jews out of the Ivy League.

Overheard in Little 101

Jewish Editor-in-Chief: One of the debates I had with myself on Shabbat was whether it would be okay to turn on my computer to look at pictures of Bar Refaeli, because at least she’s a Zionist.

Overheard at Ivy

Sophomore boy double-fisting beers, to himself: This is sick. This is sick.

Overheard outside Frist

60-year-old man lecturing wife: You know what they say about selfies...you shouldn’t take them with the sun behind you.

Overheard in Freshman Sem

Freshman girl: Of all my professors ever my favorite would have to be my mom. Although she graded me harsher, she admired my work.

Overheard at TI breakfast

KA senior: I’m not hungry I’m drunk.

Overheard after the death of David Bowie

Senior Theta: So did you hear Bon Jovi died yesterday?

Overheard in Frist

Boy: Hey, do you want a yogurt covered pretzel?
Girl: Ew. No. I hate yogurt covered things. They remind me of cum covered things.

Overheard on iMessage

Feminist: I lied about being gay on the ACT.

Overheard in an Art History Seminar

Prof. da Costa Meyer: I’ve been waiting a long time for a president whose name ends in a vowel.