Extra Stellar - Nassau Weekly

Extra Stellar

June 10, 2015

The Nass 100

100 things the staff of the Nassau Weekly doesn’t want to see again next year.

by The Staff on June 10, 2015July 22, 2017

Post-Thesis Life

Your thesis will get written, I promise. It will never be as good as they told you it was supposed to be.

by Emily Lever on April 4, 2015June 10, 2015

Glory Days

When maintenance came to clean Jadwin Gymnasium on the morning of November 2, 1978, they found litter on the gym floor, broken glass, and gouges in the basketball court a quarter inch deep.

by Alex Costin on March 15, 2015June 10, 2015

Feelies

My mother and I returned to the Tucson art museum because Rose Cabat’s daughter told us over the phone that the museum was selling Feelies not featured in the retrospective.

by Lydia Weintraub on February 21, 2015June 10, 2015

Heroin and Hilfiger

The suburban resurgence of a lethal and addictive drug.

by Kat Kulke on February 21, 2015June 10, 2015

Our Kind of Blue

J & T and the whole gang have a new apartment, M tells me.

by Hannah Srajer on February 15, 2015June 10, 2015

40.36° South 105.3° East

You have walked through FitzRandolph Gate, and you will never graduate. You keep walking until you hit the shore.

by Sophie Parker-Rees on November 8, 2014June 10, 2015

Too Quiet to Hear Except at Night

I wake to the sound of a snowdrift shed from the roof like antlers shrugged off by a deer or like that molting time when birds stay flightless a while to grow themselves back.

by Filipa Ioannou on September 28, 2014June 10, 2015

Verbatim

Overheard in Frist

Ivy sophomore: Having friends on two different continents puts media strategy on a whole other level.

Overheard on iMessage

Bisexual Tower member: I wish it was 1952 so that I’d be forced to repress my sexuality and thus society would have made up my mind for me.

Overheard in a study room

BodyHype senior: I certainly prefer my scrotum.

Overheard in ENG 200

Freshman Chaucerian: How do you spell squiggle?

Overheard emanating from Walker

Bro voice: OK PEOPLE, QUES- TION: CAN WE KILL THIS BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE IN THE NEXT FOUR MINUTES? OK, LET’S OPEN IT.

Overheard in Terrace

Footnote: Gonna be honest, I hate listening to a capella. I just want to hear the real song.

Overheard in Community Hall

Girl in trash line, argumentatively: Look, even if I did embezzle money, you still got your fair share.

Overheard in Terrace

Junior guy: I snorted protein powder two days ago.

Overheard in TI

Senior 1, to senior 2, planning a date: Have you ever been to the Met? Senior 2: What’s the Met?

Overheard outside Frist

Vegan hipster: Yo, what if they made tofu-flavored cigarattes? How sick would that be?

Overheard in Scully

Girl, pointing to quesadilla: No guy will ever compare to this.

Overheard in the Scribner Room

Nass senior, on former crush: I thought he was flirting me, but it turns out he just does a lot bath salts.

Overheard in 48 University Place

Sophomore dude: Yik Yak is so good. I live for this shit.

Overheard in Frist

Sophomore girl: All I learned this semester is that women were invented.

Overheard in Firestone

Still-studying senior: What are you doing to do with all your free time now?
Finished senior: Probably vacuum all the Doritos off of my floor.

Overheard in Bloomberg

Scholar: There are only two industries, finance and those funded by finance.

Overheard on Snapchat

Wharton grad, on picture of him with bros on motorcyles in foreign locale: “Terrorizing Vietnam.”