Beach Week
April 29, 2017

This Week's Verbatim

Overheard in Firestone:
Nass editor, Hamlet fan, pencil aficionado: 2B or not 2B...
Overheard at the Met Opera:
Desperate Austrian military general, using his best pick-up line: I can be virile in any alcove.
Overheard in Cafe Viv:
White COS major demonstrating with Google Earth: I’m trying to find a city. *zooms in on Africa* Oh no, let’s go to a more civilized location… *scrolls away*
Overheard at Terrace:
Terrace alum/community auditor, class of '61: The first thing I learned when I got to Princeton was that not all the goyim are dumb!
Overheard via iMessage:
DC wasp: I’m the hottest youngest person at the Chevy Chase Whole Foods.
Overheard in McCosh 50:
Cecily Strong: I'm actually not as badass as I looked on CSPAN.
Overheard in NYC:
Mudboy: I was like I'm sorry I can't go home with you. I have to finish the Prospect 11.
Overheard in Bank Street:
Senior Cap dude: I love those moments when you get distracted by your anger at the center left.
Overheard at Starbucks:
First-year girl: Is it weird that I am aroused by my own handwriting?
Overheard at Terrace:
Male, on professor: I hate him. He makes so many sexist comments. But I guess they don't directly affect me so it's fine.
Overheard at the Fields Center:
Ex-TI officer: if institutionalized sexism had six faces, it would be the grad board.
Overheard in the East Asian Library:
Pi Phi: Here are some things I care about but have done nothing about: gun control.
Overheard at Cap:
Chill and diverse girl: I need to change my profile picture, Obama's been in it for too long.
Overheard in Pyne:
Girl, to Nass editor: Watch this part, it reminds me of you.
Comedic genius Ali Wong: I've accidentally slept with two homeless people.
Overheard via iMessage:
Alum 1: Did he go to Harvard?
Alum 2, joking but not joking: No, he went to Columbia! He's a man of the people!
Overheard in Patton:
Aesthete: Is that Jesus or Joseph?
Art History senior: Joseph - Jesus wasn't a shepherd.
Aesthete: What about, "the Lord is my shepherd?"
Art history senior: That's a metaphorical shepherd.
Overheard in Whitman:
Socially conscious bro: No...come on. If I do consulting it'll be non-profit consulting.
Overheard in Ivy:
Junior, pondering the future: But then you have to think… is one nanny enough for three kids?